An Angry Man's Birthday, Part III: Friend

Today happens to be my best pal's birthday, just two days after my own. A guy named Bill. We were born the same year ('63), less than 50 miles apart. We met when we were 16 in high school, skinny as rakes, and we're pals still.

Sixteen is a formative age. Sure, our parents raised us, but I've come to believe we raised each other, kind of. We had our first upchuck-drunk in one another's presence. Crashed on each other's bedroom floors should Saturday night go long, bailed each other out when one of our cars croaked and curfew was looming and whichever one of us it was, was out with a girl he wasn't supposed to be out with by edict of her parents. I learned some of what I know of forgiveness and charity from Bill. What did he learn from me? Damned if I know - I hope it was of equal value. 

Our friendship flamed and flickered but never went out. In our mid-to-late 20s, with Bill in California at grad school and me in grad school and then the work force, months would go by without talking, but we'd talk when something got desperate. Something was going wrong with a woman, a job, or we were just finding adulthood overwhelming. We became foxhole friends who turned to each only at the worst of times. The typical phone call went like this:

     "Hey, man - just calling to say 'hi'."

     "Never mind that - what's wrong?"

Whatever it was, either way, we had all the time in the world for each other, and all the understanding, forgiveness and empathy it was possible to muster. I forget what jerky thing I did or said or otherwise screwed up in one of our calls, but will never forget how my pal sighed, struggled for some way to tell me that I WASN'T a jackass, found it simply impossible, and at last settled upon this:

     "Ya know - maybe that wasn't the best way to handle things. But to some degree - you've got to be who you are."

Yeah.

Friendships go two ways, and at times I've felt like a tick on his hide saying "What a team we make!" I was never the easiest friend to have (angry guys aren't the easiest of friends), but this friendship has endured. I truly, truly hope that he gets as much out of it as I do.

Happy Birthday, old pal. It's a day I'm grateful for.


Guys like Clooney and Pitt have "bromances." Guys like Frank and Dean, and my friend Bill and I, are pals.